At times do you feel helpless? I mean really helpless...you are given alot to deal with in life daily...and then you are just fed more. You want to help others, but you don't feel equipped to even help yourself? Do you feel like you run in a huge circle but you can't find yourself to stop? Will there ever be a time when you feel like you have tons of time on your hands and you aren't just wasting it? Is there a time that you will feel like you got everything done and you can just take a deep breath?
At times lately I feel like I have been dropped in a HUGE maze and left to run it. But there is no end just lots of corners to turn...and hoops to jump through. Nothing I do can get me to the end or jump through enough hoops to figure out where the end is. I feel sometimes someone is watching me just laughing at what I can and can't handle. I feel like I'm a puppet in some sick and twisted play.
Why do we think of silly phrases like "the darkest before the storm" or "every cloud has a silver lining"? Sometimes the storm comes and the sun is shining...and there is no warning....or when you are having a "storm" are you looking for the "silver lining"? What the heck? IS there silver lining for every dark cloud? Or are we just making ourselves crazy looking for that silly lining?
Sorry if you read this entry...just thoughts that ran through my head the last couple days and just needed an out. I'm off to Utah on Wednesday and will be back sometime in June (hopefully by the 10th of June). I'll update when I get back!
Have a GREAT Mother's Day!
2 comments:
Are you home yet? I miss your updates and the occassional talk on AIM. :( Hurry back!!!
Glad you made it home safe... be sure to check out my blog. I posted about a little guy I have grown to love who is fighting his life in ICU because his daycare provider shook him. He needs prayers. Please let everyone know. I will be posting updates from his mom's blog on mine.
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