Getting Ready for Christmas!

Tonight we finally got our tree up and decorated! So Christmas is on! Not that I'm in the spirit, but I know it's not like me to have nothing up--so I made myself get stuff out and up! I am making cookies, and with any luck that will also help me get into the spirit! I took some pictures of our house lit up. Some of the pictures are dark but I promised some of you pictures--I'll keep trying to get better pictures. But this way you see that I'm not lying you to when I say I'm getting things done! I but what they were so yo don't have to guess on the bad pictures! Just use your imagination!

This is our Front window from the outside...it's Santa, Frosty, and a swag...cute huh?

This is our front Door...with our new Christmas Wreath!

Not a great Picture--this is our porch...the colored lights is the railing...and the Porch Door is outlined in blue lights and the Christmas Tree has White and blue lights.

Here is our Tree...

Here is our tree again


Here is what everyone sees at night (not a good picture!)...our Blue outline window with our blue and white Christmas tree

I hope you all have a great week! I hope the Christmas Spirit finds you all! I miss and love you all!

It's almost Christmas...

It's almost Christmas and I still don't have my tree up. Nice huh? But I started my cookies--it's that something? One batch of cookies--I'm trying hard to get into the Christmas spirit but it's just isn't there. I know that I need to be quick about it--or the season will just pass me by!

It usally gets cold and you know it's time to pull things out for Christmas, but since I'm fighting 85 degree weather and homesickness--it just doesn't feel right to pull things out. I did however made myself put up things in the windows. But the tree still sits in the box, but the box has made it to the hallway. Just hasn't made the living room/dining room/den area. I told Don that this Thursday the second bedroom needs to be finished so that we have some rhym or reason in there and I think once that room is done I can move on! With Don's sister coming I want to make sure that our tree is up and ready for her...so I might be putting it up the 21st for she gets here the 22nd. Nice huh? No really--my goal is to have it up no later than Sunday. I would like to have stockings up and everything...but we will see! My tree is the main goal of the week--that and my cookies. I want to get atleast one type of cookie done each day that way I can move on and mail them!

Well that is my update--fun huh? I promise to have more done in my next update! I hope you all have a great week!

Just Thoughts

Yesterday--Samantha flew in town for business, but she agreed to go to dinner with Don and me. It was good just to see her and chat with her. I have been so homesick--it seems silly to be so homesick, but I think it did me good just having her here.

Then I talked to my friend Kelly. She got me thinking the last few days about life, and how we live our lives. I know that I should make changes in the way I live my life, but it seems too hard. I'm going to try to change one to two things about myself that I don't like, and see if anyone can tell. (So--I'm not sharing what I think I should change until someone says something or I go long enough with no one saying something.) I'm also going to try to tell people in my life how grateful for the things they do for me or how the effect my life.

Sometimes don't you feel like you are all alone in a large group. Like God-himself-has forgotten about you. Or if you pray that you don't seem to get an answer. Or you had made a mistake and asked forgiveness for and you think you are still being punished for it. I do--I feel like my not being able to have children is a little of all of the above. Sometimes I go to the stores and see mothers who don't seem to "want" their children...or hear stories of a mother who rather have someone else keep her child, but won't give the child up. All I do is pray that some day I will be able to have a child of my own--and when it doesn't happen I feel alone, like God doesn't have time to answer my prayers, or that I must of not been forgiven for something I did. Shopping for gifts at Christmas seems to hurt the worse. How wonderful it would be to be shopping for my child. Planning surprises, and building up Santa for a little one. How I feel I have let down my husband for not being able to give him a child--and not wanting to put myself out there for adoption. (Adoption scares me so much--putting yourself out there for others to judge you. I mean how can you fill out adoption papers not seeming to put you whole life out there to have a birth mom say you aren't good enough. Or have a judge say you are not ready to adopt a baby--when women have babies all the time who really shouldn't have them. How can I really want to do that to myself--to Don.)

I'm very grateful that my friend Kelly has allowed me to be in her daughter's life as much as I have. Maggie is such a great joy to have in our lives. To fill the empty space that I have for a child...and now that we don't live around her--it's hard to express how much we have gained for being around Kelly's family. Kelly has been such a great friend to me--and to Don. It's wonderful to know that you have a true friend in someone that knows all your faults and still is there no matter what. Who listens, talks, and cries with you. Someone that at 3 in the morning if you really needed her she would wake up and just talk. Kelly-I'm grateful for all you do for me--not just in things, but in just the acts of friendship you do daily for me. I am truly blessed! Thank you.

I'm also grateful for a family that is truly supportive in all I do. I wish I could spend the holidays with you all, but I sadden not to be there. Know you all are in my prayers and thoughts daily! Don's sister (Evie) is coming for Christmas--the first without her mother. I'm totally excited that she will be here--for selfish reasons. I at least will have some family around for Christmas--so hopefully it wont' be so hard. I'm going to try to get the Christmas tree up this weekend. Don has the weekend off so we are really going to work on the room of boxes.

Well--That's all for my thoughts for now! I hope you all have a wonderful week!

7 years of marriage

Can you believe Don and I have been married 7 years? Yesterday was the big day! We didn't do too much, but we did get to spend the whole day together. We did laundry in the morning, shopping in the afternoon, and went out for dinner. We also went to watch the Santa Claus 3--I thought it was VERY funny!

I'm sure Don would have loved to spend the day at Disney World, but it was just good to be together! We got a lot of Christmas shopping done and we did do a couple things we really wanted to do. So all and all it was a good day!

Have a great week! I'm still not into Christmas...no snow and 80 plus weather doesn't help. I hope everyone else can find some Christmas spirit to put Christmas around the house!

Pictures found

I found a lost disk of pictures that I have taken. Hope you enjoy my silly pictures...and their stories. Hey--I almost forgot--about a week ago Don took me on a drive one evening. He drove me into St. Petersburg--and he didn't think it was a good idea to take pictures of all the homeless people that were either sleeping on the sidewalk or getting food from a couple on the side of the road. I just don't know why he thought it might be a bad idea! So there are no pictures, but I have to tell you I have never seen so many people sleeping on the sidewalk when there were no promises of major sales going on! Have a great week!

The boy scouts in our ward did a fund raiser--picking oranges--so Don and I got a half bushel. Let me tell you it is A LOT of oranges--filled a large paper sack. This was the baby of the bunch! It was the most perfect orange.


Palm trees every where--no snow--how can you want to put up Christmas stuff. I'll try to put mine up and take pictures! Palm tree s are very ugly!

Don took me to a restaurant called the Buffalo Steakhouse. When your steaks come out they have these puffed pastry Buffaloes in them...kinda sick huh?

I had posted earlier that our apartment complex was painting the buildings. Here is a building that is painted. Ugly is the in thing--mustard yellow with pale yellow windows. Nice huh--must had a special on these colors!

This picture is to show the courtyards. There are 2 buildings that make up the courtyards. And they call each "courtyard complex" a building. Not sure who came up with that.

I found these funny acorn looking things. You can find these just about every where. Tons at the church!

This is to show how small my perfect orange really was. It was a little bigger than a golf ball. The oranges where the BEST oranges--only one bad one. Don had to take half of them to work to share. Finally had to juice the last 15 just to get rid of them!

Thanksgiving 2006

Today has been hard--I'm so far away from the group of loved ones that I normally hang with. We have to normal turkey, gravy, and all the things most people think of. But we have changed things up a while ago and started making Perogies. It has become a tradition at my mom's, and I thought that I would miss it. So the past few weeks I have thought about doing it for Don and myself. When I ran the idea by Don he was excited because I wanted to change up the Perogie fillings to fit more into Thanksgiving. At my mom's there are so many people that having 600 Perogies and all the normal Thanksgiving food is okay. But when there is only 2 of you--you don't need all that food. So--I got ground turkey (putting everything you would use on a turkey in my ground turkey ie: onions, celery, sage and all the spices), then we made mashed potato with cheese ones (that's a normal filling around mom's house), and then we tried to make a pumpkin pie perogie (which to tell you the truth is wonderful--we will be working on the filling a little bit to make it better but it was dang good). I got to talk to a few of my siblings, my mom, and some friends (I don't have many so I guess I talked to them all). But it made me feel that I wasn't so far from home. I made sure to have dinner the same time that my mom always has holiday dinners--which made me feel a little closer to home! Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Back Online

Since we have been here we have had trouble with our DSL. This past week was the topper. We were totally without Internet and I about went nuts. When we first got DSL it worked some, but last Monday it totally crashed and Verizon couldn't make it work again. Poor Don spent over 4 hours with Gateway because Verizon told us it was our computer. Gateway had Don "fix" things and then it still won't work. So yesterday Verizon finally sent someone that could really "fix" our problem. Hopefully this will be the real fix.

But since I couldn't be online Don decided to take me for a drive. (He takes me for drives, but this time it was during the day so I really could see what was out there.) We went to a place called Dunedin. It has deep Scottish roots...very beautiful. When we went there was something going on in town and there were SO MANY people. We had decided to just drive and go back another day when there weren't a million people is such a small place. I do have to tell you when driving to Dunedin---it's like driving to Logansport--small roads--nowhere to pass cars--I looked up and the car in front of us was from Indiana "34" license plate. Yes someone from Kokomo---I pointed it out to Don and we just laughed. How likely was it that we saw a Indiana license plate from Kokomo? Made me feel almost better that day! But here are some pictures of our outing!

Everyone is getting ready for Christmas...Yes and some are putting lights half way up Palm trees. I'll take pictures of that because I think that is the dumbest thing ever!

We went to a bird rescue place. It was FREE, but some of the local birds came to visit too. We saw these pelicans just wondering the place. Maybe this was really a bird jail and they were visiting! I'm not sure!


These white birds are EVERYWHERE! There was at least one on top of each cage at this bird rescue place.

Don thought Stephen would like this sign. I'm not sure if you can read it, but this bird is the "Brown Booby" bird. It looks like a brown duck. There was also a bird that sounded like it was burping when it "talked". At first I thought it was Don but it was really this dang bird. Very Funny!


While that is all my pictures for now. My camera has been giving me problems so I'm going to have to figure out what the heck is wrong with it. I'm also going to have to keep a cheap camera in the car for the trips to the store. Last night I wished I had my camera because we passed something that made me laugh, and it would have been great to get a picture of it. So I'll work on that soon! I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving and we will post soon!

My Birthday

This is a card I got from Samantha! It cracks me up! On the inside it says "Still able to stop traffic." It just makes me laugh! Then I get an e-card from Stephen...it was "Do your boobs hang low?" You know to the song "Do your ears hang low"...Made me laugh hard! Then Kelly sends me a frame with a thing about friends...I just don't feel like I'm a good friend to her sometimes. I don't have answers all I can do is listen, cry with her, laugh with her, but I don't usually have words of wisdom...But I love the picture! My grandparents called me on Friday to talk with me. I love talking with them. I'm sure they don't get as much enjoyment out of me as I do with them. And on Saturday--My mom called me and sang to me. (My mom has a tradition that she came up with to call each of us on our birthdays and sing "Happy Birthday" and sing as bad as she can possible get.) She sang a primary "happy birthday song" and sang it really well. I told her spending time in primary with the 3 years olds--she has grown a lot! Samantha then call me on my birthday to sing to me too. I'm so glad I have good friends and family that know that I needed to hear from them when I did. Don took me out to eat at the Olive Garden for my birthday. He's such a great sport! He sent me an email and tried to make my day special!

Today I woke up very sick and running a fever. So I didn't go to church, but I slept a lot. I'm starting to feel better. Maybe it was just missing everyone...kinda made me sick to my stomach. I'm not sure if it's getting easier for me...but the days aren't so long anymore. Some are longer than others.

This next week we are hoping to go sightseeing. Hopefully I'll get some good pictures to post! Well have a good week!

Seeing Rainbows

Yesterday after I posted I had to take the dogs out and get ready to get Don from work. Well I decided since the rain was slowing down and I didn't have a good day--I would keep an open mind about things. (Yes--I called and talked with my mom...that always helps to know that I'm not alone and that she loves me no matter what I do or say--she may not approve but she still loves me! Then I got to talk to my best friend Kelly. She always makes me smile! I don't know what I did before I had Kelly as a friend--she excepts all of me--all my faults--all my dumb ideas. And she still my best friend after I agreed to move away with Don (twice now).)

But--after talking to them I was getting ready for the nasty drive to Don's work and I looked beyond the next apartment complex and there was the brightest rainbow I have EVER seen! I'm not sure that it meant anything, but I took it as a sign that I'll be okay. Deep down I know I'll be fine, but without friends and family close by I feel so alone. I hate that feeling so when anything goes wrong I take it harder than if I was around the people I love. So- that rainbow yesterday (atleast for me) was a sign that no matter what trials I have that I'm not alone here (even when I can't see them...my friends and family are close by).

I did take a few pictures when I was out and about...Nothing great and wonderful...but Here you go! Have a great Weekend!

The top Window is our kitchen window (this is prepainted--which they are doing soon!)

The "theme" on all the Funeral Home's Vans...nice huh?

It's raining...

Today I didn't need it to rain! But that is what it is doing. It has been over cast most of the day with sprinkles off and on. But with being really homesick today...I needed sunshine. But it finally just started to pour. When you look out my front windows you look down into a court yard of apartments...not very pretty...and my neighbors across from us ... that live downstairs are always in and out of their apartment. It's only a 2 bedroom apartment...but I swear there are about 10 people living in it...they are always coming, going, sitting outside smoking, or like right now...standing in the doorway smoking. I really think they have a restaurant going on in there. There are people coming on bikes picking up sacks of food (I know this because you can smell it when they open their front door). Sometimes they make me nervous there are men and women, but all they do is sit and stare--then they talk about you in a tongues you don't understand.

I don't like that we have no real private porch either. Some apartments do...but we do not because we have a "den" or extended dining area. We have a little porch right outside our door which would be good if we had plants...but we can't right now because our building is going to be painted. I'm going to try to get pictures today when I am out and about. Of our lovely community. It's okay but not the best. I guess we have to live with it for a year...and then we will look for something else...hopefully in Indiana...but I don't think that is my luck!

Today I'm so very homesick. I miss my mom/family and Kelly/friends. I hate trying to make new friends (sounds kind of dumb). But it's true...I like living in a comfort zone that if I make new friends good...and if not oh well. Being where I have NO friends at hand--I have to try to make friends. With this weather--it makes me cry, and miss "home".

Tomorrow we will be getting TV! The company is coming out and we are getting DirectTV. I'm so dang excited! We have been watching MASH--backwards...we don't have all the seasons. So I started with season 9 and worked backwards with the seasons we do have. I'm so pleased to be able to watch whatever I want...I've been missing my shows. I know that Don is excited because we will have 2 TVs that he can go in the other room and watch his silly wrestling or whatever he watches.

Well -- I have to go and get ready to pick Don up at work. I got to keep the car today to run to the bank. So now he will need a ride home. Have a good week and if you have any suggestions on how to make myself less homesick please share!

Got out and about...

Today Don had the day off--so once we got some running that needed done--I got him to take me out and about. We found a beach on the Gulf and I just wanted to show you what we saw! It was very nice...but it's still not home!

Crab parts

Sand Castle

Don checking out the sky

I think this crab tried to get away from the crab shacks and almost made it back to the gulf!

Another view of the sand castle!

Small waves of the gulf

Some funny looking plant life floating in the Gulf

This is really white sand...

Well--I know most of you are trying to stay warm--I wish I was there with you. But I hope you enjoy the pictures of what I could find to share with you. Have a Great weekend. I'll try to keep you posted on what's going on here!

The move never ends...

Well to start off with--we made it to Florida in one piece. After a horrid start Saturday--we left around 2 pm (we had problems getting things in our car--and we wanted to leave by 10am). So we started out late, but made good time with taking turns sleeping...we drove straight through. We had planned to get into our apartment Sunday, but the girl that was supposed to come in to do our paperwork didn't get our messages so she never showed. (The office is normally closed Sundays...so there was no one there.) We drove around for a while trying to find some motel that would let us AND our dogs stay...which we finally found. We also called Don's boss to get some tips on where to go/ where not to go. She was really nice and helped us out on what parts to stay away from. She also told Don that since Monday is really a day off of his and I needed him more than she did...to take Monday and get me into our apartment.

Once into our apartment--our land line phone was turned on Friday before...but didn't work. (I know some of you don't know this, but I don't handle stress well. I hate it, can't deal with it, and just melt down.) Well--with no news from the movers, and not knowing a total for delivery I was stressing a ton. They were only to get us all that info no later than Saturday at 10 am. But no one called or returned calls. Then on Tuesday--talked with the moving company I went through (and will NEVER use again) they tried to help as much as possible. Then the call from the driver...he wants to deliver "right now"; I told him no...I don't have the money yet and he would have to wait until after 5 pm (that is when Don was getting home). The driver yells at me about I should already have money for him...that if he has to hold the stuff over night he will charge another $250 on top of the total. He was Yelling at the top of his lungs at me...so I told him that I would call World Moving Services (the company I went through) and have them call him. SO that's what I did. I told them I didn't think it was right that he just right out yells at me. And that for the second time he didn't call 24 hours before to tell us he was coming. So I got to talk to a great Customer Service Supervisor. She was shocked that I never was called before hand to let us set something up, but would make sure that she called the driver and let him know that he would have to wait until my husband got home. When she called me back she said that the driver was going to come between 6:30pm and 7:30 pm. While that would have been fine but they didn't show up until after 9pm. He was VERY rude still (even with Don here). They have treated our stuff like crap. They only thing he is taking claim for is the display cabinet...they broke 2 mirrors in the back of...but everything else he just kept repeating himself "how I not know it wasn't you that did it" I replied to him "because it wasn't that way when you PICKED it UP!". AND he didn't have any claim forms with him...he said "I'm just the driver I don't do claims...that's claims department--I'm just the driver". So yesterday I called the moving company that I went through and told them how the driver acted and said...they were not impressed with him. So they are sending claim forms to me to fill out. I now have tons of work ahead of me with unpacking! Hopefully nothing more is majorly broken!

I want to thank Stephen, Samantha, and my mom for listening to me in melt down. I know I don't handle stress well, but they have listened and gave advice to keep me here.

I really hate this move...I would love to go back to Indiana where I have a life. I know that Don needed this move so he could get back into the business. He is just lucky it's Florida and not Alaska. For that move would have be the beginning of the end of our marriage. It's tested here but there I think it would have been over! (Sorry Don, but that is how I see it.) I miss my friends, family, and the light stress that came in that life! I miss my friend Kelly--she is more then a friend...she is another sister to me. She is my best friend and knows all my darkest parts and yet she hangs with me. Even when I know this move is hard on me...poor Maggie (Kelly's 10 year old Daughter) she is a mess! She loves Don so very much and is just heart broke that he moved. (All I I can say to her is that no matter how far we are--you are in our heart, thoughts, and prayers! I wish we didn't have to move, but Don needed to get back into the funeral business. Indiana didn't show promise for that. We will visit, but you have to visit us also!)

Things are getting better (as Samantha predicted) I got my stuff around me--which means ie: my computer and my TV. I have DVD's until we get Dish. But it's atleast noise that I can have all day. It isn't easy being in this apartment all Day...hopefully that as soon as I get unpacked and settled...I'll be able to take Don to work more so I can get out and get something to fill my days. But until then I'm here! Well--the puppies want to go outside so I'll end here!

Have a great weekend. We will be looking up the church here so it might feel more like home. (Kelly I'm going to make sure we have some Waites', Smiths', people needing teeth!) Love you guys and keep in touch!

The Move is On...

I want to start with thanking everyone for your love during a very tuff time in our lives. It's great to know that I have such a great support system! Don hasn't had internet out in Utah, but I have sent your words of encouragement on to him...and he will read everything once the move is slowing down!

That's right--The move is ON! I have to sound excited, but I'm not into this move at all. I have put a lot of hours into this move but not my heart (sorry Don)! Since Friday--I have packed and repacked all of our things. I have to report it is all done and none too soon! The movers will arrive tomorrow between 9-11am. There will be a great sigh of relief once they close the doors and the stuff is on the truck! I have stayed up late and packed. I have almost broken parts of my body, bled, and been majorly bruised for this move. I can't wait until Don is home because he will be unpacking MOST of the stuff (not my breakables).

The puppies are ready for a long drive. Tigger and Roo know about boxes and what it means when I pack like a mad woman they have seen it all before. They are going nuts--and driving me nuts. So Friday early evening they will be getting a bath (so no smelling dogs) for the trip! Right now they are running around barking at each other like ding-dongs.

I want you to know that this week has been hard in many ways, but I have always found uplifting things from you guys when I needed the pick-me ups! I want to thank you again for that! Have a great weekend!! It maybe a little while until we get reconnected down in Florida, but as soon as we do...I'll post again!

Time to Heal...

Yesterday--Don flew to Utah to be with his sisters and mother. He was able to see his mom and say his goodbyes. She was then taken off all machines and let to return to Heavenly Father. Last night when I talked to Don--he say "it was like she wanted". And in my heart I'm sure she did wait. I think Don is now on auto. He has already called the Funeral Home (the one he worked for in Provo) and is just matter-of-fact about things and what needs to be done. Don has already written the obituary, the plans for the memorial service are almost done, and he says he's okay. I'm glad he is there with his sisters because they need his strength to move through this.

I'm not sure if he really has taken the time to grieve or if it will hit him while he is there. But he did tell me last night that he is at peace with everything now. It has been hard for him to be so far away and dealing with his mom's sickness over the phone.

On Thursday I had to call his "new" boss (in Florida) to let her know what was going on. She was so cool about everything. She told me that even though none of them have met Don--they know that he needed to be with his family and to "take care of business" in Utah. And that to keep her informed of what was going on. I'm so glad he got a cool boss that understands!

So here is the update on our move! Don flies home Friday night (the 27th) from Utah. On Saturday the 28th (sometime--not too early) Don and I will be driving to Florida together. I know that wasn't the plan, but nothing has gone as planned with this move. My mom is helping me get a moving company to come and get our stuff and drive it to Florida this next week. So what that means is Joyce is making a mad dash to finish packaging EVERYTHING by Thursday (that's the day the movers are coming)! Friday I get to pick up my husband and we are off! I know that some of my friends are a little upset that I am leaving 2 1/2 weeks early, but I'm sure they understand why I'm leaving early.

I'm mailing out cards today to everyone with our new address and phone number. Well-I got to get busy with everything. Have a great weekend and stay warm!

My Kanga

Kanga taking control of puppy land at just weeks old...never got over wanting to rule the world!
At a few days old I feel in love with her! Isn't she dang cute?
Hours old she had those big ears!
She really just wants to be friends!
Just got to love those Ears...and what a face!
Roo doesn't like his picture taken--but Kanga is just gives "love ears"
She gives so much and asks so littleDoesn't she look pleased that I dress her up in head gear?

Sad times

Late last night Don received a call from his sister (Evie) that their mom is going to pass. So in light of all that is going on in our home--he leaves tomorrow for Utah to say goodbye to his mom, and to help Evie through this tough time. He's a little lost being on the grieving side of death. He has never been in the shoes he has to wear now--and I think it makes him a little nervous. So--he will leave tomorrow morning (early) and be there about a week.

Now I'll have to call all the companies even the apartment complex to let them know that Don won't be there for another week. But I am going to look into moving companies so that I might drive down with Don. I just feel like a fool not knowing what to say to Don and his sister. His youngest sister is just being her hateful self. She is blaming Evie, and going back to her normal actions. I feel sorry for Evie because she and Linda have been so close and now she lives out in the middle of nowhere, and now she has no one close.

I do have to say that I was lucky to have a mother-in-law like Linda. She made me feel like one of her own children. She has such a strong spirit! I am glad we have the gospel in our lives and know where she is going. And that if we strive hard that we all will be together after this time on earth. Linda's health has been her ball and chain for a while now--but she will be free of pain and her body will be in the most perfect form. She will be able to do things she hasn't be able to do in a long time--and will be able to rest. My heart is full knowing that she has touched my life and I was able to know her for a short blink of an eye. But I'll have the rest of eternity to know her better! We are a forever family!

A Dark Cloud?

The last week and a half have been really hard around here. Don's mom (Linda) was taken to the hospital. Her health since I have known her has gone down (she's only 57). She has a very strong spirit! But she was taken to hospital that wasn't equipped to deal with her problems and they had to sedate her and fly her to the university of Utah hospital. They have taken her off the medication to keep her asleep, but now she isn't waking up. Don talked to a doctor today-- and they are unsure IF she will wake up. Now he feeling lost--even with being a funeral director-- he has never been on this side of it. He feels so dang helpless--being so far from his family--but really not being able to fix the problem. I just feel like a ding-dong because I don't know what to say, but for what the church has taught us. I know that isn't helping him in his time of being lost.

It doesn't help that tomorrow--we are putting Kanga down. So, I know it can't be easy to have to deal with his mom's health, dealing with putting down the dog we breed Tigger for, and getting ready to leave (by himself) on Friday. We seem to be dealing with an uphill battle! It doesn't help that we won't know if we are pregnant for a few more weeks...and it is all piling up and I'm hoping we won't crack under the pressure.

Don and I did have a good evening tonight. We were invited over my grandparents house for dinner. We love spending time with them (not enough time though). We had good food, good company, and good time playing card games. I wish--Don and I had more time to have spent with them.

You all have a good week--and I'll update soon. I'm going to post pictures of Kanga when I can do it without tons of tears!

The Waiting Game

Today I feel that I'm no better off then before...but than again I'm no worse off either. We have been to Indy everyday this week. So-I'm glad to say we won't be going back anytime soon! Now we just wait. We are hopeful that something took, but understand that it doesn't always take on the first time. So--if it did not take--Joyce is taking a much needed break. With the move and all that is what my body is telling me to do. I had to take a afternoon nap yesterday because my body can't make these 8am appointments--3 to 4 times a week with a hour and a half drive. I have been really lucky that Don has had time to take off to go with me. So that is where we stand right now. Just waiting...the wait will about kill me but I have packing to finish so once my rest is caught up on...I'll be a packin' fool! Well I know this is short but there isn't much more to report! Have a great weekend!

Too Much to Handle

Well--I really think I have had as much stress as I can handle. Let's just say I'm glad this cycle is about over! Friday I went to see the specialist (or more his nurse)...had my blood taken...and pictures of things that should have NO pictures taken of. But that afternoon we found out my hormone levels were not high enough...so MORE shots (three more days of shots). I did that and one Monday I went BACK to Indy to see his nurse and the Lady in the Lab. Monday afternoon-one more shot and come back. So today I went back to see the Lab Lady, the nurse, and the doctor. Well they can't see all of either ovary...and he has to revert to the "old school of Medicine" with just going off the blood levels. So he told me to visit the lab on our way out and call this afternoon, but on our way out of town we had to pick up another set of drugs (that didn't come with the free stuff) so that set us back. This afternoon...Don talked to the doctor's office (I just can't stand this anymore)...and the doctor thinks we are in safe levels to take the second medicine...but wanted to see us in the morning. So Don got to give me my last shot (in the butt) and we will visit the doctor ONE more time. I'm thinking that I'm taking a LONG break if this doesn't work. My ovaries hurt from the nurse trying to see them, my belly hurts from me giving myself shots in it...and now it hurts to sit down. So I'll be happy when this is all over. I'm just hoping this all wasn't in vain and we get at least ONE baby out of this trial. So I'm not sure what this appointment will bring tomorrow, but hopefully it is PAINLESS!

On to the other stress in my life--MOVING! We are finally set with a place to call "home". We will be sending out moving cards...so be watching the mailbox. We will be living outside of St. Pete. Don leaves next Friday with a loaded car...and then I will follow him in a month. My mom has been really great with us totally making a mess out of her home. (But now she will have more room!) She volunteered to drive a moving truck with me to Florida (she should have been a truck driver). So we bought her a ticket home...so we are locked into a moving date for me. We thought we would wait until the day after Thanksgiving...but the plane tickets were WAY expensive. So we have a plan, but getting packed and ready is not going real fast with making all these trips to Indy.

But now that we have turned our lives upside down--we are trying to make sure we land on our feet and not our heads! Well--we will update as soon as we know something! I hope your week goes better than mine!

Stepping Stones

Well--this week has been a very busy one for me. I have had to learn to give myself shots (and for those who know me well--know I don't like shots/needles). I had to really think this through and decided that I wanted a baby more then anything. SO--I have been doing good at giving myself shots daily. (Not that I would want to do this forever, but if this gets us to where we want to be then I have had made steps forward.) Don and I go back to the doctor's office on Friday to know the results of these shots...SO after our VERY early morning appointment...I'll update on that.

But on the moving story--We have told those who took it hard (our friends children). Now we can talk about it in the open! It's hard to keep the boxes I keep packing a total secret. We have done TONS of paper work already for this move. Don's paperwork for his licenses are now officially in the works. He's new boss tells us that she is excited to have us move (which makes Don more excited). Tomorrow I overnight paperwork for an apartment. I have been calling places for weeks now and I think with all the advise we figured out what will be our best bet. It's a place in Largo, FL just north of St. Petersburg. I have talked to these women so much I think they know my voice now...which isn't always a good thing! But the assistant manager told me today that she is going to go ahead and place our name next to a good apartment #. I'm sure she is just wishing I'll stop asking questions. But when going to an unknown place all I have had to go on is Apartmentguide.com and the word of people I don't know. So--hopefully I didn't just promise to move to the hood. But the assistant manager tells me this apartment is a nice downstairs apartment (on the end of the building) with new carpet, tile, and stuff like that. I'll update you on that also!

We are still working out the details to who is moving when. I know that Don IS leaving October 20th. And if money doesn't workout so we both can go...I'll go the day after Thanksgiving.

Well, those are my updates for now. I'll write this weekend after the visit to the doctor! Have a great week!

Good News!

I'm very HAPPY to announce I have started my rounds of fertility drugs today! I'm totally excited that it's happening! I will be giving myself shots for 7 days and next Friday Don and I go back to Indy to see the doctor and see how the meds are working. Hopefully it works wonders and we can do the next meds that make the things happen! We could have up to 3 babies...that is the most exciting news yet. One stop shopping! One pregnancy 3 babies...how cool is that? Well--we'll see.

We are also filling out applications for apartments. Hopefully we will have one in the works by next week and moving plans in writing. We will keep you posted!

Have a GREAT weekend!

Almost Good News

Well--I go see the specialist on Friday! The nurse said if the lab doesn't find any grow on my culture by then I can start giving myself shots! (I know, I know...I'm the one who HATES shots, but this time I'm excited!) I'm working through my fear of needles, and praying that it is all worth the blood, sweat, and tears. Because if you have been following my blog...there is a lot of blood and tears with the baby story! So--hopefully this weekend I can update saying we are using the shots! So please pray!

I hope your week is going good. Keep me updated on what's going on in your world! Keep Smiling!

Just another week

It seems to just have been just another week. The only thing different for me was a lot of phone time with apartment complexes in Florida. Other than that it's been kind of quiet.

Once we find an apartment Don will being his 2 weeks at the prison and heading south. He is excited about his new job. He gets to go to work in shorts...then change to scrubs and embalm, casket, and get the bodies ready for the funerals. The company supplies the scrubs and washes them, and all he has to worry about is the prep room. He doesn't have to wear suites (which for Don will be a total change in the funeral business). Don is totally excited to be going to the warm weather again.

Money isn't panning out like we would like it to...so Don will be heading out on his own for a while. Hopefully by Thanksgiving (Christmas at the latest) I'll be able to join him with all our stuff. So--all that has meant for me was REpacking some boxes so Don could take some stuff with him. He will be living with the bare minimum, and an air mattress. Hopefully he won't have to live like that for long. But if I'm lucky he will miss me a little.

While that has been our week! I know it's not exciting, but with working, packing, calling about apartments, and babysitting there isn't much time for anything else in my life. I hope you all have a good week and hopefully I'll be able to update soon that we found a place to stay in Florida.

Have a good week!

The Wheels are in Motion!

This morning we heard some good news (for Don anyways). He got the job in St. Petersburg, Florida. He is accepting the job, and now we are in a time crunch to get him there! (We are accepting donations for the move <--haha!) He will be leaving sometime in October and I will follow (hopefully) in November. If we can make the money work we will be going together, but we won't set our sites on that! I'm going to leave Regis after next week, and be a sub at the schools until I go. I found out that I can make more money right now doing that! Then when I get to Florida I'll work on getting back into the business and work for Regis there. But we don't know yet what day Don will be heading out. But we know he is taking this job and is totally excited!

So if anyone wants to visit St. Petersburg/Tampa area once we get settled down there...our door will be open! I am sad to leave my family here, but I know that Don needs to have a job that makes him happy. So, as a good wife, I'll miss my family so my husband will be happy!

As for the fertility drugs...I go on Wednesday to be retested for that infection and we will take one step at a time. If we have to put off the meds until another date I'll have my doctor recommend another doctor down there that can help us. Hopefully we can make this cycle "the cycle". We will wait and see!

Well--I hope you all have a great week and if we have anymore updates we will sure post them!

No New News

Nothing great and wonderful to report this week! I have to go Wednesday to be retested for that dang bacterial infection. I hate the test, but they have to be sure it's gone before they can allow me to take my shots. So hopefully we will get some good news in the next couple weeks..which will be VERY close in time when shots have to start. Hopefully we won't have to wait until November. I might pull out my hair by then!

Don is still waiting for the firm in Florida to let him know if he has the job or not. I hope we will know something by the beginning of this next week! We are just hoping it will be good news and we can plan what happens next. Maybe he will go with one of the dogs and get started and I'll follow...but nothing is set in stone. Nothing in my life is!

Well that is all the news at this time! I'll update if we get any info! Have a great week!

No one says a word...

Hey...to all those who reads my blog...no one ever said I had 2 same posts! What's up with that? I'm very sorry for posting the same thing twice, but it was late and I was tired...so Hopefully it won't happen again!

Nothing great or wonderful is going on in our world. Working everyday doing something. Repacking our stuff in hopes that Don is closer to a real job offer. But nothing else new here! Have a great week!

Simple Thoughts

You know it's late and I can't sleep...just alot of things going around in my head. So I thought...why not just go type them out and hopefully sleep will find me soon! So here I am, and I'm hoping this works!
Well today I found out I still have that dang bacterial infection. So now Don and I are both on stronger medican to kill whatever this is. (Maybe I'll kill it before doing shots!) But it just seems to be one thing after another with this dang stuff! I don't ever seem to see the end of the tunnel...when I think I see the light...it's just my flashlight shining in my eyes! At times I just want to throw my hands up and yell at the top of my lungs...I give up it's not worth the fight. But than I see pictures of babies, see babies at the mall, and just wish one day I could just be part of that world...instead of looking in the windows (if you even can follow that). But the fight is still there and hopefully it won't take much longer!
On the other hand; Don is still hunting for a job he likes. Poor guy! He had an interview today (Tuesday) in Hobart, IN. He is one of 3 to be interviewed for this job. Hopefully that means being in the top 3 for 3 jobs he will get a job offer that we can really use! I'm hoping (for his sake) he gets a job offer soon. I know he just hates the prision (not that I could really blame him there).
Then this evening we learn that Don's sister had a baby. (It's the sister that is in and out of jail.) That didn't help matters any. But she did have a baby girl...8lbs 4oz; 22inchs long. Sandi thinks she wants to name the poor baby "Eternity Harley". Now-isn't it enough that her mom is a druggie and isn't going to be there for her...now she wants to curse this baby with a horrid name. What the heck is wrong with people? I'm just hoping for the baby's sake she decides to give it up for adoption. She really hasn't decided about that yet. But knowing her--she'll try to raise this baby and only hurt the chances of this child having any type of normal life. It just makes me mad that people that really want kids...or even like them...have them! Let's think about what we are doing to these poor children for a minute. But they never do--the babies are too cute and than they lose the cuteness and only cry, eat, sleep, and potty. But by the time people like my sister-in-law figure it out...that poor child is lost in a never ending cycle or fall through the cracks of life.

Okay, I think I'm done. I just needed to get it off my mind and now that I did...I hope you aren't bored with another trip of "I hate Dumb people!". I hope you all have a GREAT week. And we will update you on anything great and wonderful!

Hurry and Wait

This fertility stuff is going to be the death of me I'm sure! It's all hurry up and wait. And I'm just not good at that. It's been a heck of a week with from the lowest of lows to the highs, but all we can do now is wait. With having the insurance knocking me off balance and struggling to find my wait above water. With the drugs on the way to the doctor's office...we now just wait until next cycle. Which is better than hoping above all hope that we find money to buy the drugs, but this is just going to be the longest cycle of all! Friday morning I call the specialist office and asked if they got the drugs (which at 9:30am they had not). So I got to talk to a nurse that I will be "working" closely with through the process. She said well..."it usually takes 10 days to get the medicine here, but since they told you we would have it today. Come on in and we will do the test we need to do and hopefully by noon we will have them." Noon is when the office closes on Fridays...while looking at the clock and knowing I had to get up, get dressed, get the dogs in the house, and get everything ready for work. I wasn't going to make it in time. I then asked (kind of like a child) "should we just wait?". She left it in my hands. (Now...why do that do that? I'm not the one that knows what the heck is going on...even if it is my body...HELLO? I'm really a blonde and just want to have someone tell me what to do.) So I told her I would feel better knowing that the drugs were in hand before making myself have to go through "pretesting" and all. She agreed that would be the smartest thing. So I'm to call her later in the month. That is where we stand on that! But it is steps forward!
Now about Don's world. He doesn't make things better. He is all over the place with his job hunts. (I do have to say...he is making headway.) He is talking to a firm in St. Petersburg, FL and one in Panama City, FL. He is in the top 3 candidates for both of them. He has a job interview on Tuesday with a firm up around Merrillville, IN (really it's Hobart, but I didn't know where that was until now). Oh and he's talking to someone in Texas. So hopefully soon he will let me know what we are doing. I've decided that I'm not waiting on him to tell me he got a job...I have started going through our stuff and repacking everything. I think I will be about done when he gets a job (since I'm going through all the boxes and seeing if it is stuff we want, need, or should just get rid of).
Well, I'm off to get ready for the week ahead! I hope you have a better holiday than me (I have to work it).

Ever Changing

In the last week and a half since my last post my world has been turned upside down and back again! Let's see if I can recap for you. Last time I posted...we had seen the specialist and he thinks he pin pointed my problem...and wants to do rounds of shots that he believes will help me get pregnant within 3 cycles. His staff called in the "order" for the drugs and we were waiting on the insurance to pay for it and the drug company to send it. While I called Thursday of last week to see how things looked and the woman at the "drug store" said it all looked good...I would have to drugs in hand this week on Wednesday. I was VERY happy and went about my business. On Sunday evening my hopes and dreams crashed...The "drug store" called and said the insurance won't pay for the fertility drugs...and if I had a credit card I could put $1200 of drugs on. I said no...and I wanted to call the insurance company in the morning. I was devastated...couldn't think straight at all. Monday I called the insurance (because online they say they cover this "specialty drug"). While to come to find out...they do, but since my husband works for the state of Indiana and the plan we are on with this insurance company...they don't pay for fertility drugs. While I couldn't think about what to do...but I remember Dr. Cline gave me some info about this thing called Fertility LifeLines. Brooke Shields promotes it...and it has great information...while I then remember Don and I had looked stuff up on the internet and we had read about "help" getting these drugs. So I called (crying none the less) and got to talk with this really sweet man. He said that yes there is a program that is called "Compassionate Care" to eligible patients who may not otherwise be able to afford fertility treatment. You have to meet certain criteria...like not having insurance coverage for fertility meds, had to be a US citizen or permanent resident,annual household income, and not being on the program before. I asked how to get ahold of the paperwork to fill out and try. He asked if I had a fax (because it would be faster) so I gave him my number to our fax and filled out the info. He told me that when I turned it in that it could take up to 2 weeks to hear ANYTHING. But at this point I had no other choice but to go ahead and try. I filled it out and sent them the info they wanted like my pay stubs...(which I only have one from Regis and I had to explain that I worked for myself and didn't have other pay stubs), tax return papers from last year, a copy of my insurance card (so they could verify that the insurance would not pay for the drugs), and leave it to a board to help me. Around Wednesday they called and wanted to verify some things...like why I only had 1 pay stub...and stuff like that. Then just praying that something great would happen...I tried to get through my week. Yesterday evening...my cell phone rang (thinking everyone I know...knows that I had the day off and am at home) I answered the call. It was that sweet man...I talked to on Monday about getting the ball rolling to see if we could get help paying for the drugs. He said " I wanted to be the one to call and tell you that you have been approved for the help of getting free fertility drugs" I was so dang happy. The only thing is they can't send me the drugs...they are sending the drugs to my doctor and I have to get them from him. I then asked why I couldn't receive them here since I live so far from my doctor...he just told me it's how they do it...so I was like...whatever...that's fine...not wanting to piss anyone off...and they will be easier to get ahold of from the doctor then the drug company. So long story short...we are getting the drugs I need and at a dang good price (free).
I'm sure we have missed the chance this month for the round of drugs...but knowing that the drugs are in route makes knowing next month we can start the (hopefully short) road to having children. I can't think about anything else, but how grateful I am to have a husband that even when I go off the deep end (like Sunday and Monday) he stands there and is a rock. And my mom I don't know where she gets her strength, but Sunday told me I could endure this because I was her daughter and she KNEW things would work out...even if I had to figure out how to get the money ourselves. I'm grateful for the family I had the great fortune to have!
If you know anyone that needs help with fertility drugs tell them to call Fertility LifeLines at 866-Lets-Try or 866-538-7879. They have been great! They also can go online to www.fertilitylifelines.com. It has all the info to call.
Well that is our update for now. We have to call the doctor's office later today to see when we can start the shots...and when we can pick them up. But we will keep you updated on what is going on! Have a Great week! I know we will try!

Shots--Anyone?

Today we went to see the fertility specialist. (I really like that he doesn't sugar coat things with us.) apparently--my problem is all in my head. No really--I don't make enough chemicals from my head to tell my body what to do. Basically (long story short) I don't make the 'follicle' big enough so I don't make babies. (Maybe at times I do...but not on regular schedules.) So what we need to do is get 'drugs' (which is real hormones just shot into me) every cycle. I will be watched fairly closely and then if and when the 'follicles' are big enough I will get another hormone shot to get the 'eggs' going in the right direction. BUT there is a short story here I have to tell. This drug is blamed for the high multiplies running around. Don't worry my doctor has a plan...If there is ONE "ripe" follicle...I will take the shot to make my egg move...If there are 2 to 3 "ripe" follicles...it is left up to me to decide if I want to take the shot or not...BUT if there are 4 or MORE...I'm not ALLOWED to take the shot. There are too many health risks with 4 or more babies...and our doctor doesn't want anything to do with that. So...here are the numbers we are looking at 1 to 2 follicles Single birth 85%--twins 15%...3 follicles Single birth drops to 65%- twins/triples 35%. Cool numbers huh? And Dr. Cline believes that within 3 cycles (of this medicine) we will have a positive result...and it doesn't have to be one cycle after another...just 3 cycles.
I know you are asking $$$ right? Well--we are waiting on that answer. On our insurance company's website the drug they want to put me on is listed on the list of specialty drugs they pay for. But to make sure the Drug company that will be sending us the drugs is calling and checking with the insurance to be sure (but they think we are fine). If not the drugs are out of pocket and that will be all I'm asking for Christmas. But we should know something by Monday! So--we wait out the week and pray REALLY, REALLY hard...and HOPEFULLY our prays are answered! We know that the blood tests and ultra sounds will be paid for by the insurance. So, keep your fingers crossed! (I would like to have a baby!)
Talking about babies...I got to visit with Marcus and Jackie....and Hold Baby Zachary! He's such a little man! Dang cute! I made them some dinners to stick in their freezer...so Jackie doesn't have to worry about 4 meals. I thought they could use that more then baby clothes! Babies are just to dang special! Jackie and Marcus enjoy him while he is still 'small'! (If you need a babysitter just let me know!)
Well I have to work the opening shift at work...so I should go now! Have a great week! And remember to cross your fingers for us!

No Good News

Well to report on the job in Virginia...Don was offered the job (yeah!), but there will be NO move! After talking about money...we had to turn it down. The company he would have worked for wants everyone on commission. Don and I understood that, but the owner told Don until he is ready to go commission he could be salary. The only catch was they would only pay what he is making now (at the prison). Well-rent is too high and that with bills we just couldn't jump at the job. So we had to tell him no thanks. So...we are still hunting the "right" job! When it comes it will be a relief! But at this time we don't have to worry about which dog to get rid of!

Now on to news about fertility...we have our next meeting with the doctor on August 21st. (With Don and I both working it was the first day we both could go.) We will be sitting down with the doctor and setting our goal. He sent us a "video" to watch. It was all about the drugs to make me more able to get pregnant and stay that way. But I'm only worried about it the COST. We will be asking alot about that. I think our insurance might help with the cost of the drugs (this time), but it's every other test we have to know the cost of. So hopefully we won't have to pass on this round. We just keep praying that we can understand what the doctor says and be able to pay for the treatment! But we will keep you posted on that!

That's all the news at this time! Have a great week!

Not Great News...

Well we got to talk to the specialist today. And he told us that I'm not ovulating properly. So he is sending us some videos (WOOHOO!) to watch to educate us about what is going on. Then once we have watched those videos he wants to sit down with us for a conference (are you as excited as me?). Then since I had that bacteria infection...he needs to retest for that. But he did say that once we know that the infection is gone he can put me on some other meds for treatment...he did say there is a 90% chance of pregnancy within the next 3 cycles after starting treatment. Now it's not the best news...but there is a little hope yet. If we can just get my body to do what it's suppose to do then we might have a baby of our own!

On other news...Don is getting closer to a job! We will know more later this week...so we will update on that. Don says if anyone want to contribute to the 'Davidson Moving Fund' just let me know! But we might have to get rid of a dog or two...but that too is up in the air! Most places won't let you have more than 2 dogs...but you can have cats! What's up with that? But we will keep everyone updated on what is going on with Don's job hunt!

I just want to say congratulations to my nephew Marcus and his wife Jackie...on their new addition ... Zachary Alan...we can't wait to see him!

First Day of Work

Today was my first day of work and I lived! I was very, very nervous...but it was okay...Only 2 men haircuts. The boss asked how I felt about color and I told her that I love to do color...And she said "good; because this Regis does more color then most in the region." So, I'm excited that I will learn a new line of color and get to use it a lot! I also fell into a wonderful set schedule... I work Mondays 3-9, Tuesdays 9-3, Wednesdays 3-9, Thursdays off, Fridays 3-9, Saturdays 9-3, and Sundays off. So, if you want Regis prices come on in and see me...If not call me and we will set up a home session for much cheaper! But new hires don't usually get out of working Saturday nights and Sundays...But the girl that left at short notice that was her schedule so I'm not complaining!

I was really hoping that the school would call and get me in soon...But it doesn't sound like they are going to start classes anytime soon. I would have loved to work at the school while taking my instructors classes. Regis knows that I am waiting to get that call. But I think the manager is hoping that I like working there more than going back to school. I don't think that will happen but I will work there (I guess since I have to) till the call comes.

Don is still looking for work...So if you know of any funeral homes hiring...Let me know! Well, you guys have a great week...And try to stay cool...The Heat SUCKS!

Pictures of our Trip

Yesterday I got a job...I am going back to Regis Salons...but this time I'm going to work in Logansport. I like knowing that no matter what I'll get a pay check...and if Don does decides to take a job somewhere...I can transfer stores and still have a job! Which will help me greatly! Now today I got those pictures to upload that I wanted to share yesterday. The trip was beautiful and here are a few pictures to show you. Enjoy!

West Virginia was very beautiful with all the green trees...I think this makes the mountains look like mountains and not just hills.
Military playing on the Chesapeake Bay.
There were TONS of fishing boats on top of each other on the Chesapeake Bay...I couldn't believe how close they sat to each other.
We passed a lot of beaches, but we never stopped at one...but this one was about the smallest!

This is one of the tunnels on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and Tunnel adventure.

This is a view of the two bridges on the Chesapeake Bridge and Tunnel adventure...but these sit like 80 feet (or more) above the water.
These are cranes just hanging out on the Chesapeake Bay.

Busy Weekend

This weekend went fast! Thursday Don and I started out to Virginia. It was a long 13 hour trip. We got down there and got settled for the night when the guys interviewing Don changed our afternoon interview to a morning interview. On Friday we met the guys and talked about the job over breakfast. We were then shown 3 of the 10 Funeral Homes that Don would work out of. (Now I know I married a Funeral Director...but I'm not into touring them...that is not sight seeing that I like to do.) We spent all morning and part of the afternoon with them. And were sent on our way to the next Hotel and told to look around the area to see if it was somewhere we were willing to move to. We spent time getting lost in Chesapeake, VA ... and I have to say...it's beautiful. We found a few apartments that we could live with. But the major problem we will have is taking ALL our dogs...most of the apartments only allow 1 or 2 small dogs. We did find ONLY ONE that we could take all three...but they sounded very full.

After we took our tour of Chesapeake...we went to Williamsburg to the the Yankee Candle Company. That was very fun (for me). Then we tried to make our way back to our hotel. Then on Saturday we took some time to go on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and Tunnel. It was really cool! There are 3 bridges and 2 tunnels to cross the Chesapeake Bay.

We left Saturday afternoon and hit some horrible traffic from Virginia Beach to Richmond. I didn't think we were ever going to leave the state...it took 14 hours to get home...arriving at 3:30am. I learned I should not let Don decide at the last minute to sight see...but we did have Fun!

(for some reason I can't upload pictures...but as soon as I figure out what I did...I'll post some!)

Have a great week and stay cool!

A little Up Date

Tuesday afternoon Dr. Cline's office called (our specialist) to update me a little. It seems that I have one of three types of bacteria in the reproductive tract (vagina, cervix, uterus, or fallopian tubes). (He tested for that on July 5th...And the test just came back.) So now Don and I both have to be on meds for 10 days. (That way it would transfer back and forth.) But I still don't have all the test done ... And the test I have done...Not all the results are in. They just want to make sure we address that issue right away. It's kind of stressful just waiting to hear what is wrong with you...After going to other Doctors who just think they know how to treat you and you think everything is okay...And you are really broke!

Well, nothing else to report...But when I hear something I'll post! Have a great week...And remember clowns are our friends! (Got to love the Circus!)

Nothing great

Well yesterday I went to see Dr. Cline (our specialist) yesterday...But there is not much to report. The follicles on my ovaries aren't growing big enough yet and I think my body is fighting and killing the sperm. But we won't really know anything until August 8th when we hear the official report. I have one more round of blood work next week. Then when all the tests are in he'll make our plan on how to fix me. Isn't that wonderful...He thinks he'll fix me! (Good Luck!)

I'm sorry that there isn't more news to tell until August...I'm very sore so I'll leave this as my post! Everyone Have a GREAT week...Remember the Circus is in town (here ---anyways). I hope some of you will come see us while it's in town!

Letting off a little steam

I just want to start with the statement...That I hope no one takes what I'm going to say to heart. I just have some things on my mind so I'm just letting off a little steam. Tonight Don and I went on a double date. (We have a few things in common...Don works with the guy...And I know the couple forever...And they are having trouble having a child also.) This is the second time we went out...And we have lots of fun. Tonight after dinner we went to Walmart. I swear the "white trash" teen moms are there in force. As we are walking around I'm just amazed on how many teen moms (and they are getting younger) are walking around swearing at their children. First when we walked in someone had to go potty...So the rest of us wait near the door...There comes a "white trash" mom with her baby (no older than 18 months) in the cart (standing none the lest) yelling at it..."NO I'm not picking you up...You are TOO fat"...Now this child is SCREAMING at the top of his lungs...But he is only wearing a diaper...No clothes...And falling over in the cart. Now, I'm sure that girl could have but a little something on that child...I know it's hot and humid but let's get real...a little onesie would have been better than nothing.

I guess I'm just mad that some people just keep having children that shouldn't. And couples that want to have them and go through hell and high water to get one...Can't without paying an arm and a leg for one. I know I'm more open about not being able to have children, but some couples aren't as open and it's hard to walk around seeing children mistreated. I hate it when people that I know or not known for a long time...Ask...."Now why don't you have children...I thought you would make a good mom"...People think before you speak...If you know someone don't just assume they don't want children...We aren't all bunnies and can have them at will!

I'm just glad we have friends that can relate to our situation...And we are blessed that we have family (and friends) who support our venture to find the answers of why we cant have children and are there to pick us up when we get down in the dumps.

Now on to news...We are seeing Dr. Cline (the specialist) on Saturday...So depending on how I feel after test I'll post any new news. It may be Monday before I post about that. Then on the 27th of July Don and I are going to Virginia...He has a job interview the 28th. So hopefully we hear something good from that! Next week is Circus City week...So hopefully I'll get some news or just good gossip from people to share from up there.

A long process

Today I was informed that I forgot to post about my doctor's appointment. Well to tell the true... I was in pain so I didn't want to sit at the computer that long. I think I really like this Doctor... He is honest even if you don't like the answers.

But here is what he basically said...(from his webpage) we should identify the cause/causes of infertility. The cause/causes of infertility basically fall into four major groups and that’s it! We know a couple can have one cause, all four, or any combination of the four. They are all equally important so the area we talk about first should not be thought more important than the area we talk about last. Firstly, we know that some women have one of three types of bacteria in the reproductive tract (vagina, cervix, uterus, or fallopian tubes) which, if present, can affect fertility. These bacteria may offer no signs or symptoms. Gonorrhea can cause damage to the fallopian tubes by either blocking them or scarring them so they cannot either pick up the egg at the time of ovulation or cannot properly transport the egg down the tube to come in contact with sperm. Chlamydia can affect the fallopian tubes in a similar way and also may cause enough inflammation or irritation on the lining of the uterus (endometrium) that implantation of the embryo may be adversely affected. Mycoplasma hominus and its’ “cousin”, Ureaplasma uryliticum, have been shown to attach themselves to sperm and ride on the back of the sperm out into the fallopian tube, where fertilization takes place, and reduce the sperms’ ability to fertilize the egg. Now, if these bacteria frequently fail to cause signs or symptoms, how are we ever going to know if our patient has them? The answer is that we do cultures. A small cotton “Q-Tip” is inserted into the cervical opening, pulled out, sent to the lab and within two weeks we will know if these bacteria exist. If they do exist, we will treat both the wife and the husband with an appropriate antibiotic for ten days and then re-culture to confirm the treatment was successful. The presence of these bacteria in the reproductive tract is not an “absolute” regarding pregnancy, but may play a major part and therefore must be diagnosed and treated. The second area of the causes of infertility asks the question, “Does the husband have adequate numbers of normal, motile sperm and, just as the wife is ovulating, do they live well in the cervical secretions to pass through those secretions and get out in the fallopian tubes where fertilization takes place”? We like to do a post coital test on a day the patient is just ready to ovulate, but hasn’t yet ovulated. For example, if the cycle is 28 days, we will do the test on cycle day 12 (no matter what day of the week cycle day 12 might fall). In a 30 day cycle, we do the test on cycle day 14, etc., etc. This test is also known as the Huhner test, the Sims-Huhner test, the PC test or the PK test. We simply ask the couple to have intercourse at home, two to four hours before their appointment. Then, at the appointment, we place a speculum in the vagina, extract cervical mucus from high in the cervical canal (similar to a PAP smear), place that mucus on a glass microscope slide, and immediately look under the microscope to determine if we have adequate numbers of sperm and, are they alive and do they have good directional kinetics (move purposefully in a basic straight line). If we see this, we probably do not have a sperm or a sperm-cervical mucus problem. If we see any problems or see any significant variation in the shape of the sperm, we will order a semen analysis to be done at a laboratory. If we see very few sperm, we may have a problem with decreased numbers of sperm, or, the numbers may be adequate but the sperm may not able to get through the cervical mucus. Again, a semen analysis is helpful in sorting out the problem. At times, we may see a lot of sperm in the cervical mucus but they are either barely moving or dead. We then have a “true” sperm-cervical mucus problem. The treatment of the various conditions causing a sperm or a sperm-cervical mucus problem will not be fully addressed here but look for a complete essay on these problems in the future. Suffice it to say that many problems are treated by doing husband intra uterine inseminations (HIUI) at the time of ovulation. Many times we suggest the husband see a urologist. The third area of infertility asks the question, “Are there any structural areas that may be the cause of infertility”? Specifically, are there any intrauterine problems such as a septum, intrauterine fibroids (myomas), or intrauterine polyps which may affect the ability of the embryo to implant or may allow such a poor implantation that an early pregnancy loss will occur. Are the fallopian tubes open (patent)? A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) x-ray is the best procedure to evaluate these areas and is done as an outpatient by a radiologist. Also, the patient may have pelvic endometriosis or adhesions with or without pain or menstrual cramps and these conditions can only be diagnosed by direct visualization of the pelvis usually by doing an outpatient laparoscopy (bandaid-bellybutton surgery). The fourth, or last, area of infertility asks the question, “Are you ovulating properly”? Note that I have not asked if you are ovulating but if you are ovulating properly. What do we mean by that question? During the “menstrual month”, there are times that your body must meet certain criteria. The first of these times is on cycle day (CD) 12 based on a 28 day cycle. On CD 12 you should have developed, on one ovary or the other, a cyst that we call the follicle. In Greek, the word follicle means ‘little cyst’. This follicular cyst contains the egg of the month and the wall of this follicular cyst secretes the chemical hormone estrogen (estradiol). Estrogen, in turn, circulates throughout the body and acts on the lining of the uterus (endometrium) and causes it to grow back as it just fell off with blood a few days earlier during the period. On CD 12, if we do a vaginal ultrasound, the follicular cyst should measure at least 18 X 18 mm., the endometrium should mInsure at least 9 mm. in thickness, and the blood estradiol level should be at least 150 units (pg/ml) or higher. If the follicle is too small, the lining too thin, and the estrogen level too low, this is related to a condition called follicular immaturity. With follicular immaturity, the egg itself is immature when it is ovulated and will not fertilize well. The next segment of time your body must meet certain criteria is after you ovulate. Once you have ovulated, the follicular cyst collapses but continues to secrete estradiol and begins to secrete the second ovarian hormone, progesterone. Progesterone is responsible for changing or converting the endometrium into the type of tissue that is perfect for proper implantation when the embryo falls into the cavity of the uterus three to five days later. The blood progesterone level seven to ten days later should be 10-15 units (ng/ml). If the progesterone is too low then either the embryo will not implant or may implant so poorly that a miscarriage will occur.

Well needless to say...I'm alittle sore from exams and tired! I think his nurses can only do early appointments...and since we live an hour and half away...6:30am comes early! So, I'm sorry for not posting sooner...but I will post something when we know more...but if you have anyone that has fertility problems and would like to read more here is Doctor Cline's website! reproductivehope.com

Stress Sucks!

Well in my last post I told you that Don turned down his offer in Alaska. But the stress that I went through that week and a half has played it's toll even now. I have a great fever blister to mark the outward sign of stress. Nose bleeds and running a low grade fever is just running it's course.

Now I'm stressed out about doctors too. I went to my doctor to have tests ran...So she would send me to a new Fertility doctor. All my test are good...And the appointment is set for a fertility doctor. We see him on Wednesday the 5th. Which means all weekend I'll be nervous about this appointment! (I do have to tell you that the specialist sent me all the "new patient paperwork". I had to fill in my religion...He also wants to know our income...And all the ins and outs of my life. I think some questions are none of his business!) But Hopefully we will get some good answers and ideas of what the heck is wrong with me! (I know the list is long and he's only one man...But I would like some kind of answers!) We will let you know if we find out anything wonderful!