Saturday, February 20, 2010

Missing my Grandpa!!!

Today would have been my Grandfather's 89th birthday. Since his passing in May it has been a struggle for me. But since I have moved back to Indiana it's been better because I have my Grandmother to help. But since October (Her 89th Birthday) she seems to need us more. (For me that is okay because it helps me feel useful.

Mom and Annette have been scanning old pictures and I got to show Don some of the old ones of my grandparents...the pictures that show my Grandfather the way I remember him. He was a nice looking tallish, railroader. And since Don and I have gotten married his health had been failing. So the only man my husband knew was the shell of the man that I knew. Although my grandfather had strokes and heart problems we were blessed with him having his memories and mind to keep a good conversation going. Sometimes he struggled getting with getting his voice to keep up with his thoughts...and his body couldn't keep up with what I'm sure he wanted to do. But I have great respect for my grandparents.

It still hurts my heart that I didn't get to say my goodbyes to him before his passing. At times I wonder if he really knew that I loved him...I don't remember if I said it the last time I talked to him...Will I ever get past that???

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